Thursday, 17 November 2016

Fuck it

don't need you but i want you. And I still love you. I fucked another guy but he wasn't you. I spent the whole time remembering YOUR body and YOUR eyes. Those blue eyes that meet mine and light up every fibre of my being. I spent this whole week getting over you, yet the moment i see you bam. 7 days turns into 7 seconds. I want more than you can give and you hate aspects of me. But you are you and i am me. And there is a reason for me to still be feeling this way. To crave your touch, not in a sexual way but just your arms around me. The shivers your voice brings. Your hands. God your hands. They make me feel warm and safe and secure even when they are across the room. Yet. Yet. You have become unattainable to me. You sit like a jewel in a box that i can never touch. Only stand from afar and gaze at. And i love you. I will continue loving you, even if from afar, despite what my head says. Despite the heartbreak. Because that is love. And fuck it I love you


Today I had sex with a man I do not love
All the while
Thinking about a man who does not deserve my love;
nor does he wish to have it
Yet here I lay
With only thoughts of that lost love
Refusing the love being offered

Sex is not love
Love is not sex
Love is him